Invaded by woolly monsters

July 31, 2009

Rick and I each picked up a long stick on the way down to the bottom paddock.

The bottom paddock

The bottom paddock: scene of the crime

We were about to chase some sheep off our property, and if one thing was certain it was that we had absolutely no idea what we were doing.

This was during our first summer here, when we were even less experienced at country life than we are now — if that’s at all possible.

But how hard can chasing sheep be? They’re just sheep. They’re fat and slow and stupid. Right?

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Old Man Henry and the chook house race wars

July 25, 2009

Podcast available.

Old Man Henry is our geriatric rooster. He is mangy and decrepit. The feathers on his head are just quill stubble. He’s half blind, bow-legged, and he pauses strangely after every step.

Old Man Henry

Old Man Henry

On certain misty mornings, when the light is right, he looks as though he’s stepped out of some twisted chicken fancier’s version of Dawn of the Dead.

Yet this unlikely old man is a Nobel Peace Prize winner among poultry. And it is by peacekeeping that he earns his keep.

When I brought home our first two young chickens nine months ago – the sisters Henrietta and Ethel – I had no plans to get a rooster.

I didn’t want to deal with baby chicks hatching left and right, and I had nightmarish visions of cracking open an egg for breakfast to find a half-formed fetus inside.

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Last of the Horse Paddock Pinot

July 18, 2009

John from down the road walked in and set an unlabelled bottle of red wine on our kitchen counter. That was the first time I saw that wine.

Glass of red

It was two years ago, at a dinner party Rick and I were throwing for our neighbors.

“This is a special wine,” John said. “You can’t buy it anywhere.”

Something about the unlabeled bottle seemed vaguely illicit, as though a dodgy liquor store owner had started whispering to me about his secret stash.

I suppose I hadn’t seen a full, unlabeled bottle of wine since I was a boy, when we lived in Minnesota and my dad decided it would be a good idea to make ‘dandelion wine’ in the basement. It must have been horrible wine, since I only remember picking the dandelions for it once. I don’t think he ever repeated the experiment.

I eyed John and his unlabelled bottle suspiciously. “What kind of wine is it?”

“Good wine,” he said, and then told me the story of where it came from.

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What the river taught me

July 11, 2009

There is a river at the bottom of our property. To get there you step out the front door, then walk along the rosemary hedge, across the top paddock and into the olive grove, through the bottom paddock and a dense cluster of trees, then finally down to the water’s edge.

The river in summer

The river in summer

The miracle is that you can do all of this without ever leaving home.

I fell in love with the river during our first summer here. Everything about it was perfect. Time seemed to stand still there.

I had no idea that the river as I knew it would soon disappear.

That first summer Rick and I were trying to prune the olive grove ourselves, even though we had no clue what we were doing and had only the weekends to do it. The trees hadn’t been pruned for years, and I found myself spending long afternoons in the Wairarapa heat just cutting out the ‘suckers’ – the tender, unproductive branches that shoot up from the trunk.

At the end of those afternoons I’d wander down to the river, sweaty and hot. I’d throw off my shirt, boots, and socks and fall back into the cool, clear water.

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Make your own olive oil in 23 easy steps

July 11, 2009

There are many ways to make your own olive oil. This is my own personal recipe. Feel free to modify it to make it work for you.

  1. Pre-heat your life. Marinate in thoughts of living overseas for years and years.
  2. Before your heart becomes hard, go.
  3. Count your blessings when the one you love agrees to join you.
  4. Wander the globe together. Live in Northern Japan, then big city Tokyo. Stir in trips to China, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, and the Philippines. Flavor to taste.
  5. Meet friendly, warm New Zealanders everywhere you go.
  6. Move to New Zealand. Because, why not?   Read the rest of this entry »

Chicken blood on my boot

July 4, 2009

Aussie Bronwyn and I stood outside the chicken coop. In one hand she held a long pole with a round net on the end, and in the other hand she held a jar of Vaseline.

Lavendar araucanas: Natasha and Francoise

Lavendar araucana: Natasha and Francoise

She was limping a little from a recent knee surgery, and I felt bad asking her to walk across the top paddock to our chickens.

“I’m fine. I’m fine,” she said, throwing back her shoulders. “Now, let’s get those chooks!” She smiled broadly, as though ready for a battle of epic proportions.

Little did I know what an epic battle it would eventually turn out to be.

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